SOME APPROPRIATE QUOTES

(WITH CANADIAN METAPHORS ADDED)

 

A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul. -- George Bernard Shaw

(The New Democrats, financing their platform)

Foreign aid might be defined as a transfer from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries. -- Douglas Casey (1992)

(The Canadian International Development Agency)

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. -- P.J. O'Rourke

(Chretien's Golf Course)

Government is the great fiction, through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else. -- Frederic Bastiat

(Jane Stewart and her Human Resources Department)

Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it. -- Ronald Reagan (1986)

(The Cod in Newfoundland are no longer moving)

I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts. --Will Rogers

(This Hour Has 22 Minutes)

If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free. -- P.J. O'Rourke

(Jean Chretien Shows his Dark Side to Premier Ralph Klein)

Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn't mean politics won't take an interest in you. -- Pericles (430 B.C.)

(Revenue Canada)

No man's life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session. -- Mark Twain (1866)

(Just watch CPAC Channel)

Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of [Parliament]. But I repeat myself. -- Mark Twain

(Watching Jean Chretien unleash a 'folksy' comeback to an equally dunce-like question)

Talk is cheap--except when Congress does it. The government is like a baby's alimentary canal, with a happy appetite at one end and no responsibility at the other. -- Ronald Reagan

(Transfer Payments, the Sydney Steel Mill & Tar Ponds)

The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of the blessings. The inherent blessing of socialism is the equal sharing of misery. --Winston Churchill

(The Canada Customs and Revenue Agency [here to 'serve you'])

The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin. -- Mark Twain

(I'm full of Fluff)

We contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle. --Winston Churchill

(This is why the Nazis Lost the War)

What this country needs are more unemployed politicians. -- Edward Langley

(Like THAT is gonna happen, try the 'Senate Pasture' or the 'Pension Trough')

A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money. -- G. Gordon Liddy

(Surprising quote from a Watergate Burglar)

While suturing a laceration on the hand of a 70-year-old Texas rancher whose hand had caught in a gate while working cattle, a doctor and the old man were talking about George W. Bush being in the White House.
 
The old Texan said, "Well, ya know, Bush is a 'post turtle'."
 
Not knowing what the old man meant, the doctor asked him what a post turtle was.

The old man said, "When you're driving down a country road, and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that's a post turtle. Kids and drunks do that kind of thing to turtles sometimes"

The old man saw a puzzled look on the doctor's face, so he continued to explain, "You know he didn't get there by himself, he doesn't belong there, he can't get anything done while he's up there, and you just want to help the poor dumb bastard get down."

 

(make the farmer come from Alberta, and replace Bush with Jack Layton)